Finally caught up with me

Had to go to hospital today to check everything had gone back to "normal". Have been declining over the last few days and being back in the scan room all just proved too much for me and I've pretty much been a wreck ever since. I actually went up to bed at 5.45, just meaning to read, and, well, I woke up about half an hour ago (it's 10pm now). Overwhelmingly sad. The thought of going out scares the hell out of me. Was supposed to be seeing a few friends over this week but I've cancelled them, just can't face seeing people. I wish I could get out of this black place I've found myself in. Can't see this ever getting better. In the last nine months I've lost my father and two babies and I think it's finally taking it's toll. Just going to stay in for now, I think.